His Pledge to Have by Shanae Johnson

Author:Shanae Johnson [Johnson, Shanae]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Those Johnson Girls

Chapter Twelve

Carter heaved a heavy sigh, letting his forehead fall into his hands. The medication was in his system. Like a car that had been running low on gas, now that his tank was refilled, the engine of his heart revved in his ears. His blood rushed through his head, lubricating his thoughts and giving him back his sense of clarity. The heat from all his sensors now firing cooled his skin and calmed his nerves.

All should be right with the world. Except it wasn't. Carter knew the high he felt wasn't about the turn his life had taken with regards to his personal life. His racing heart had nothing to do with the woman who owned it. It was all due to the medication.

Before tonight, he wouldn't have cared where the relief came from, only that it came. He spent so many of his waking hours in pain that any relief was welcome. His movie nights with Tilly had been a source of relief. His helping her with her daily chores around the ranch had offered relief as well. But to do those tasks, to be witty when they watched a film, to remember the details of what they spoke of, Carter needed his daily dose.

Wilson had found Carter's secret stash. But he hadn't found all of it. Carter held a handful of pills in his palm.

He stared down at the pills. He knew he couldn't hold on to the pills if he wanted to hold on to Tilly. It was an easy decision.

Or at least it should have been.

What if Carter couldn't be the man Tilly loved without the pills? She had only ever known him when he was on the medication. Maybe to have her, he needed to have the pills as well?

"Carter?"

Carter shoved his hand behind his back at the sound of Tilly's voice. She stood framed in the doorway, her beautiful face highlighted by the moon. Her blonde strands looked like moonlight. Her bright blue gaze in contrast to the dark sky.

Carter ached to touch her. But he couldn't. His hands were full of pills.

"Are you okay?" Tilly's steps to him were tentative. They had never been before. She'd never hesitated to come up to him, to sit down next to him.

"I'm fine." Carter clenched his fists. The pills in his palms ground against each other. The sound was like fireworks in his head. Could she hear them too?

"Then tell me what's going on?" Tilly closed the distance between them.

Carter reached for her. Then he drew his hands back to his side, his right hand still clenched in a fist with a handful of dirty little secrets inside.

"What injury?" Tilly looked his body up and down, searching for signs of a wound she would never see.

Carter shoved his hands in his pocket, depositing the pills there. When he pulled his hands from his pocket, he could feel a bit of the chalky stains on his palm. He rubbed his hand against his pants leg. Some of the residue stained the fabric.

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